A love letter to anyone living in limbo
I’ve been thinking a lot this week about what my life looked like a year ago. Because this time last year, things were very different. Sure, none of us had ever heard the word “coronavirus” (oh, those were the days), but even without the changes the last few months have brought our way, my career and life looked very, very different in May 2019.
I had a full time job, for a start. A full time, demanding job at a fast paced tech start-up, managing a team of over 80 people. A job that required me to spend at least two days a week commuting from Leeds to London and back. A job that meant for 2 years, I spent every single Monday evening in a Premier Inn hotel, 200 miles from home.
This time a year ago, my suitcase was a permanent fixture on my bedroom floor - packed and unpacked on rotation every couple of days, never put away in the cupboard where it was supposed to live. This time a year ago, the only time I spent more than 3 or 4 days in the same location was when we were away on holiday - it reached the point where often I was more excited about being in one place for an entire week than I was about visiting a beautiful destination.
And outside of work, the hustle didn’t stop. Because this time last year? This business that now sustains me was just a pipe dream. I was using every spare second I had to do the work and lay the foundations - studying for my coaching qualification, bringing my podcast into the world, building an online community who resonated with the message I so passionately shared - but I had absolutely no guarantee that those efforts would pay off.
When I cast my mind back to this time last year, I can remember feeling like I was living in limbo. I had the vision for the work I wanted to be doing and the life I wanted to build, and I was making progress in the right direction. But the end was nowhere in sight. I had no idea if my coaching business would ever get off the ground. I had no plan of when I’d be able to leave my day job. And I was far from certain that I’d be able to make a decent income from the work I truly loved.
But I kept on regardless. I endured that uncomfortable limbo period. I stayed focused on the end goal and I kept on moving forwards. Even when I was exhausted. Even when I was fed up. Even when things didn’t go my way. Even when all I wanted was to sit on the sofa and watch yet another episode of whatever I could find on Netflix.
And do you know what? That patience and commitment paid off. Because right now, as I sit and type this letter to you all, I am so proud to say that my business is thriving - even in the midst of a global pandemic. Every single day I get to show up and do work that I love. I have the freedom and time and space that I always craved. I have a work schedule that supports my health, rather than pushing me to the brink of burnout. And best of all? I get to experience the kick that comes with knowing I did this all on my own.
I don’t share any of this with you to brag. No. I’m sharing it because this time last year, this was the story I needed to hear. I needed to be reassured that my hard work would pay off. I needed to believe that the limbo period wouldn’t last forever. And I needed faith - faith that in 12 short months, life could look a hell of a lot different.
And I’m guessing that some of you guys might need that too, right now. So, if there are any of you reading this today, muddling your way through your own limbo period or messy middle, I hope this letter offers you a glimmer of hope. I hope it reminds you just how quickly things can change when you’re committed. I hope it reassures you that determination always pays off. And I hope more than anything, it allows you to trust that that joyful life you dream of us completely possible.
Keep going - even when it feels hard, even when it would be so much easier to throw in the towel. Don’t give up on yourself now, as tempting as it may seem. Because let me tell you - when you get to the other side, you’ll see that it has all been worth it.
