Thirty two things I know to be true

Yesterday, I turned thirty two. For a while now, I’ve been writing blog posts to reflect on how I feel with each passing year. I’ve written about insecurities and fears and hopes for the future. But when I sat down to write a similar post this year, I struggled. And when I tried to figure out why, this is what I landed on: I feel content. More content than I have ever been, in all areas of my life. And it felt difficult to stretch that conclusion out over a few hundred words without boring everyone to tears, or coming across as completely smug and self-satisfied. 

So instead, to celebrate my 32nd birthday, I thought I’d share some of the lessons I’ve picked up along the way. Here are thirty two things I know for sure…

1) Friendships change and evolve as you get older, but you’ll never regret the effort required to maintain the good ones. Old friends especially are like a portal to a past version of you, and there’s something magical about that, especially when life starts to change at a rapid pace.

2) It’s true what they say about comfort zones - all the good stuff happens outside of them. Get into the habit of stretching before you’re ready.

3) Uncertainty is inevitable. Stop trying to control life and instead, commit to making the very best of whatever comes your way.

4) Yorkshire Tea is the only acceptable tea. Or Yorkshire Gold if you’re feeling fancy.

5) You can never have too much information about your body. If you’re a person who menstruates, I cannot recommend tracking your cycle enough - it’s comforting to know that the highs and lows you experience are natural and not anything to worry about. 

6) Keeping the promises you make to yourself is the most life-changing act. It will give you a sense of safety and confidence that no level of external validation ever well. 

7) The most important quality in a partner is kindness. Life can throw an awful lot of shit at us, and when it does, you’ll want to know that the person closest to you is solid and compassionate.

8) Nobody has their shit together. One of the greatest privileges of being a coach is getting to see that even the most successful people feel messy on the inside. 

9) It’s okay to change your mind. In fact, you’re kinda supposed to.

10) Doing stuff that scares you is invigorating and addictive. Be the sort of person who says yes and figures the details out later. 

11) There are a million different ways to live a life, and not one of them is the “right” way. Stop worrying about the choices other people are making, and instead focus on the best choices for you and your circumstances. 

12) It’s never too late to get started. If your heart is still pumping blood around your body, you still have time.

13) Gratitude is the quickest route to joy and happiness. When life feels hard, focus on all that you have.

14) You never regret an hour spent curled up with a good book. 

15) So many of the limits we put on ourselves only exist in our own head. Be careful to separate fact and fiction - so much is possible when we open ourselves up to believing so.

16) There’s always more to learn. Our formal education might end when we’re 16 or 18 or 21, but that doesn’t mean that there’s nothing left to know.

17) Time is your most precious resource. Spend it well. 

18) You’re never alone. That thing you think makes you super weird or different or crazy? There are millions of other people in the world who feel exactly the same way.

19) Vulnerability and sensitivity aren’t weaknesses - they’re superpowers. 

20) Work can be a huge source of joy in your life. But it’s okay if you’re happy to find your joy elsewhere and let work just be work. 

21) The majority of life’s problems are caused by poor communication. Make the effort to be open and clear about your feelings and needs, and let others know that it’s safe for them to do the same.

22) When you see people doing cool things, it’s usually because they had the courage to ask. Be brave. 

23) Your gut reaction is usually the right one. Make the effort to tune into your body and your intuition more.

24) Two drinks is the perfect number of drinks. After that, everyone starts talking a lot of rubbish and the headache starts to kick in. 

25) The big milestone moments make up such a tiny percentage of our lives. Focus on making your everyday the best it can possibly be instead of expecting the big stuff to make you happy.

26) You can survive even the darkest and most difficult times if you have the right people around you. 

27) Confidence is earned not learned. The only way you can build your self belief is by taking action. 

28) You don’t have to put yourself in a box. You’re a complex, multi-faceted human with a vast array of interests - and that’s okay.

29) Even when it feels like you don’t, you always have a choice. Be intentional about the decisions you make,

30) Rest isn’t just a nice to have - it’s absolutely vital if you want to fulfil your own potential. Prioritise a good night’s sleep and notice what changes.

31) Spreading kindness and joy is a win-win situation. Never turn down the opportunity to help someone else - it will help you to remember what life is all about. 

32) Change is a constant, and life gets so much better when you embrace that instead of trying to resist it.