2022 in review

It’s 6.30am on New Year’s Eve as I sit down to write this. I can’t sleep - in part due to the restless legs that late pregnancy seems to have blessed me with, and in part due to the whirring in my brain as I try to compute that one year is about to slip away from us, and another is about to begin.

And so, instead of tossing and turning, I’ve come downstairs and made some tea. The lights on the tree are twinkling for one last time (I always like to take the Christmas decorations down on New Year’s Eve so that we can enter January with the house feeling fresh and sorted), and the world outside is still dark and sleepy.

Before the day begins and we rush into the end of year celebrations and the welcoming of a new one, I wanted to take some time out to reflect on 2022. This year has been a monumental one for me, perhaps the most important, professionally and personally, of my whole life. And I know that in years to come, I’ll want to look back on it and remember how I felt in this moment.

So, that’s what this post is - my 2022 in review. A post that is mostly for future me, but that I hope might also be interesting for some of you, too. Here goes…

The highs

Let’s start with the highs, and boy, has 2022 blessed me with a lot of them. Of course, in retrospect, it’s always easy to gloss over the messy bits and focus on the highlights, but I really do feel lucky for all of the blessings this year has brought me.

Professionally, this year has been a huge one. I wrote and published my first book, something that has been a dream of mine since I was tiny! This was such a challenging, surreal and special experience, and getting to travel around the country on my book tour and meet so many of you in person gave me some of my happiest memories of the year. 

Another work goal of mine for 2022 was to establish myself as an expert in my field, and I really feel like I achieved this. I had my Masters research published in a prestigious academic journal (something my imposter syndrome had convinced me would never happen), and I was featured in some huge national press titles, including The Independent, You Magazine, Metro, Huffington Post and The i Paper. 

I’ve launched new programmes, delivered workshops and training for some dreamy corporate clients, and coached some truly wonderful humans. And I’ve done it all with my lovely team by my side - I couldn’t reflect on the highs of the year without acknowledging how much more easeful and joyful they’ve made my work in the last 12 months. 

Personally, this year couldn’t have been bigger. The obvious change has been pregnancy - at the time of writing this I’m less than a month away from the due date of our first baby, which means I’ve spent the vast majority of 2022 growing a new human. Pregnancy has taught me so much (something I might write about in a future post), but perhaps the biggest lesson has been to take each season as it comes. 

Despite knowing I wanted to start a family, for a long time I feared becoming pregnant and the changes it would unleash on my body and my life, but I can hand on heart say that I have truly loved this experience. Sure, there have been some adjustments to make and new limitations to be conscious of, but I feel stronger, more focused, and more resilient than ever before. It’s been a reminder that everybody’s experiences are different, and all we can ever really do is make the best of whatever season we find ourselves in.

When I look back on 2022, what stands out more than anything else is the time we’ve spent with family. We gained a beautiful new niece this year, and we also spent tonnes of time with our other niece and nephew. We holidayed with both of our families, and made time for the little things too - the Sunday dinners, the midweek cuppas, the afternoons spent putting the world to rights. I feel so grateful that I’ve been able to build a life that allows me to prioritise these moments.

One last high for this year was being able to travel and embrace normality again! After over two years of not leaving the country, this year we crammed in city breaks galore, festivals and a tonne of gigs. We ate our way around New York, sunk many pints of Guinness in Dublin, and babymooned in Paris. We also celebrated the love of so many pals at four beautiful weddings, and it felt extra special to do so when so many of them had been rescheduled over and over again.

The lows

Of course, no year is ever made up of just highs, and 2022 was no different. It’s easy to skim over the lows, to instead just pour gratitude into the good stuff, but I’m a big believer that we have to make space for it all to truly learn the lessons of the year. 

This year brought another wave of grief as we said goodbye to my beautiful Nan. She was my last living grandparent and the true matriarch of my family. Nan had been poorly for a while, so it didn’t come as a complete shock, but I don’t think that really makes it any easier to say goodbye to someone who has been so formative in your life. I feel very grateful that I got to share our news with her before she slipped away, and also for all of the love she showed me throughout the 32 years I got with her.

Losing Nan felt like the first signal of a summer of discontent. Those hot, sweaty months brought with them a difficult diagnosis for one of my parents, and some truly awful news for a few of my closest friends. There was a period where it felt like every week brought another heavy curveball, and it took a lot of strength and resilience to keep focusing on the good stuff during those summer months. 

I’ve dealt with some pretty intense periods of anxiety this year, especially during the first trimester of my pregnancy. This felt challenging as I’ve worked so hard to manage my anxiety since experiencing PTSD 6 years ago, and being back in the depths of panic and worry felt like I was losing control. I found it useful to re-engage with some old coping strategies, and also to share how I was feeling with loved ones, and with some help and plenty of self-care, I’ve been feeling much better since the autumn. 

Finally, there have also been periods of this year when I’ve got the balance all wrong. When I look back on the first few months of 2022, I can see how tired and overworked I was, and what an impact this was having on both my physical and mental health. It’s always a hard balance to strike when you’re self employed and want to grasp all of the opportunities that come your way, but it definitely taught me some lessons about pacing myself.

The lessons

So, what did 2022 teach me? Well, the answer is a lot. I feel like this year has been a bit of a pressure cooker of growth for me, and I’m emerging stronger, more resilient, wiser and more grounded than I started. The lessons have been hard won, but I’m so thankful for them. 

I think one of my biggest takeaways from 2022 is the reminder that life is never all good or all bad. During one of the most joyful periods of my life, I’ve also had to navigate some really hard times, and that, I think, is a metaphor for life. There’s no such thing as a happily ever after - there’s only reality and the many ups and downs it brings with it. What matters is where we put our focus, and during those difficult summer months, practicing gratitude for all of the good stuff was what got me through.

This year has been one in which many of my dreams have been realised, and I feel so lucky for that. But what it also reminded me is that for a dream to come true, you have to allow yourself to admit it in the first place. I found an old journal from the end of 2018 the other day, and in it I’d written down some of the goals I had for the next 5 years. Seeing how many of those “far fetched” goals were now my reality reminded me how important it is to keep dreaming, to keep allowing myself to think bigger - something I think many of us have forgotten how to do during the disappointing pandemic years. I’m excited to keep opening myself up to the possibilities and opportunities next year. 

And perhaps the biggest lesson I’ve learned in 2022 is the importance of surrendering to whatever season you’re in. I’m a planner, a fixer, someone who has always got her eyes on the next step or the next priority. But for multiple reasons this year, I’ve had to learn how to slow down and just be in the moment, and doing so has brought me so much joy. None of us know what the future holds, we can only make the very best of whatever is in front of us right now. That’s a reminder I want to take with me into 2023.

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So there you have it, my 2022 in review. If you’re still reading, well done! I didn’t quite expect this post to come out at almost 2000 words, but they’ve been cathartic to write. Thank you all so much for being here this year - I’m excited to bring you along for all of the highs and lows that I’m sure 2023 has got in store. And of course, happy new year!