Finding courage to do the things that scare you
This Thursday mark Halloween, and so I thought I’d keep things topical this week and write about how to find the courage to do the things that scare you.
So often when working with my coaching clients I see that they have all of the skills and resources to make their goals happen, but the thing that holds them back is fear. And I get it because I’ve been there too - I spent many, many years letting fear get in the way of the progress I craved.
In this post I’ll be sharing some practical tips to help you find the courage to do the things that scare you, so that you can get out there and start turning your dreams into a reality. Here goes…
1) Get clear on your fear
My first tip is to get crystal clear on what it is you’re actually scared of. So often we let our fears exist as these big, shapeless, undefined entities, but until we know exactly what it is that we’re scared of, we can’t start to take meaningful action.
So instead of telling yourself that you’re scared of rejection or worried about not being good enough, drill down into the next layer of detail. Who are you scared of being rejected by? Why are you scared of that rejection? Why are you worried about not being good enough? What impact would that have on your life.
Once you know exactly what it is that fills you with fear, we can move on to the next step much more effectively.
2) Picture the worst case scenario
Bear with me on this one as I know that it sounds a little bit counterintuitive, but it’s really effective! Once you’re clear on what it is that you’re actually scared of, spend some time picturing the worst case scenario. Think about what would happen if every fear you have that’s related to your goal came true. What would your life look like? What knock on impacts would there be?
Then, once you’ve let your brain go down that rabbit warren of worry, think about whether that worst case scenario warrants the amount of fear you have. Would you be able to get your life back on track? Would the impact do any lasting damage? Would it be possible for you to start again?
The reason why this technique is so effective is that in the majority of cases, the details of the very worst case scenario (which is already highly unlikely!), aren’t actually as awful and debilitating as we think they might be. Allowing yourself to follow the thread of worry is a great way of proving to yourself that the stuff you’re scared about isn’t actually all that scary.
3) Now picture the very best case scenario
Once you’ve followed your thread of worry to the very worst case scenario, flip the exercise and spend some time imagining what the very best case scenario would look like. What would your life look like if you took action on your goal and everything went right? How different would your days be? How much more joy would you have in your life?
Build a crystal clear vision of just how much better your life could be if you were to do whatever it is that’s scaring you and everything went to plan. Allow yourself to get really excited about how the future could look for you, and then think about how it would feel to never be able to turn that vision into a reality. How does that feel? Does not achieving your dreams scare you as much as taking action does?
The power of this exercise is that it helps us to see why our goal or dream is so important to us, which will build our determination to go out there and make it happen, even when the fear starts to build.
4) Break it all down
Once you’ve worked your way through the exercises above, my next tip is to break your goal or ambition down into teeny tiny baby steps. So often our fear is borne out of overwhelm, and so breaking your goal down into the smallest possible steps is a super practical way to minimise that worry and apprehension.
By breaking your goals down into small tasks you’ll feel like you’re in control and have a plan, which can give you a big boost of courage and confidence. Remember that it’s really important here to keep breaking down each step into the smallest possible actions - you should be faced with a list of tasks that you can action in less than an hour, rather than projects or tasks that require big chunks of time or energy.
5) Take action
Finally, once you have your list of tasks and steps, take action! It doesn’t matter where you start, just do one of the things on your list. Action cures fear, and so simply getting started is the most effective way to quieten those worried voices in your head.
Once you’ve completed one task on your list, try to harness the momentum that comes with that achievement. Use the energy to spur you on to the next task and so on and so forth. Aim to stay in a place of action - this will minimise the amount of time you spend second guessing yourself and worrying about the outcomes.
BONUS TIP - Remember that everyone has felt this way
I wasn’t planning on adding this tip to this post, but as I was editing this post and adding the final touches, I felt compelled to include it: remember that every single person you look up to or admire has felt this way before.
The people who you deem successful or inspirational didn’t become those people because they lacked fear, they became those people in spite of that fear. I really hope that the tips in this post will help you to do the very same thing.
