This is how I prioritised joy when moving overseas
As you might have guessed from the title (and the fact that I’ve never moved more than a couple of hours away from where I was born!), today’s post is a guest post from the lovely Michelle Gately. What I loved about Michelle’s post is that it took so much of what I write about here on the blog and translated it into an experience that I’ve never had, but one that I know so many of us can learn from. I hope you enjoy it!
Moving overseas was my lifetime dream. I was determined anxiety and overwhelm wouldn’t ruin the experience, or make me homesick. Really, Sophie is to thank for a lot of the mindset shifts which helped me through this time. That’s why I wanted to share with this lovely community some of the lessons I learned along the way about living joyfully during an overseas move.
When I tell people I’m Australian, their first reaction is absolute astonishment. Usually followed by a variation of “but WHY did you move to England?!”.
During the gloomy, dark days of winter, I understood the confusion. Surely I’d rather be baking in the glow of the 40+ degree days and glowing from the constant sheen of sweat on my forehead? To put my answer in Australian: yeah, nah.
It’s been more than six months since we left Australia. It’s been a whirlwind, to say the least. At home, there have been some incredibly challenging situations with my family. These were things I used to imagine would break me. But they haven’t. And I can honestly tell you I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.
Sometimes I feel a little bit like I did just run away from all the expectations of adult life, but if you can’t do that in your twenties then when can you? And that’s a story for another post.
There’s no denying that it’s been stressful though. I have Sophie and the Weekly Pep Talk to thank for a lot of the mindset shifts which helped me through the anxiety, though. Which is why I wanted to share with this lovely community some of the lessons I learned along the way.
You might not be moving overseas but, hopefully, you’ll find this advice handy for any big changes you’re facing.
Spend time getting prepared
We spent at least a year talking about our move before finally deciding to do it. Then we started to make loose plans: the month we’d move, who would care for our dog, what area of England we’d live in.
My anxiety is at its worst with the unknown and research is a way to calm the storm of my overthinking mind. As it happens, we changed a lot of plans along the way. But knowing the possibilities made any changes feel less overwhelming.
We also did a lot of boring paperwork in preparation for leaving Australia. We made sure our parents could take care of our finances, and that we had copies of any important documents. Not exactly joyful at the time, but it saved so much stress later on.
If you’re looking to move overseas, read about the experiences of others who have made the move and find out what they wish they’d done. For example, we were told it was difficult to open a bank account in the UK so opted to use an agency instead of going it alone.
Whatever big, scary change you’re hoping to make preparation and research will make the world of difference. Find out what’s involved and you can take small steps to making the dream reality. Talk to people who’ve made the same move or experienced something similar, too.
Live in the moment
I am the queen of overthinking and obsessive daydreaming. In high school, I was constantly imaging my ‘dream life’. This is a habit I lapsed back into each time work got particularly stressful or I planned a holiday.
Reading this blog and following Sophie sparked a change in my mindset. I started embracing the little moments, finding joy in everyday things. This decision to be present helped me truly enjoy my final few months of work and in my hometown.
I didn’t obsess over what my English life would look like. Instead, I felt the baking hot sun on my bare shoulders as I walked to the coffee shop near work to meet my friend each week.
Now we’re in England I’m trying to maintain this living-in-the-moment habit. When I’m tired or a bit down I start to worry about what our life back in Australia might look like. But we still have well over a year before we head back and even if we weren’t leaving, so much can change in that time.
It’s daunting to know you’ve got a time limit on experiencing something, especially when you’re enjoying it. But we never know what life will throw at us. Things can change in an instant. So if you’re holding off booking that holiday or making excuses about going to that restaurant, just do it. Imagine you’ve only got a year left where you live – what’s on your ‘must-do’ list?
Embrace the things everyone else ignores
Discovering Lotus Biscoff spread, embracing the nation-wide adoration of sandwiches, long country hikes, and making mulled wine at Christmas. These are just a few of the little English experiences which have brought me joy since we moved.
Autumn and winter made me feel like a child again; I was seeing something new every day and amazed by it. I grew up in the tropics and I’ve never experienced proper seasons. While I was walking to the train station marvelling at the autumn leaves, others were wrapping their scarves tighter and huddling down into their parkas. (That disdain for miserable weather is how I feel with yet another 40-degree day in Australia.)
Since we moved I’ve tried to enjoy all the seemingly silly little differences between Australia and the UK. I’ve found new places to shop, and a new go-to drink at the bar. Seeing these differences as new experiences has staved off any homesickness.
I never expected the UK to feel like Australia. The joy for me has been in these differences, the things I couldn’t find at home.
Even if you’re changing careers or moving house, embrace the opportunities this brings. Do you get to do a new and exciting role? Is there a coffee shop to try near your new location? Focus on this rather than what you’re leaving behind.
Final thoughts
Any change can be daunting. And moving overseas? Most people wouldn’t even consider it. There’s no denying it’s a huge decision, but my happiness tells me it was the right one. These are just a few ways I’ve held onto joy while adjusting to life in England. I hope, though, that this advice can help you through whatever big changes you face in 2020.
About Michelle Gately
Michelle is a journalist, podcaster, and reading enthusiast who helps creative people improve their technical writing skills and communicate confidently online. Visit her website, The Unfinished Bookshelf, or follow her on Instagram.
