What if this is the prime of our lives?
I’ve been thinking a lot recently about how society views women. From such a young age, we are bombarded with messages about what it means to be female, our brains quickly filled with expectations of how we should look and how we should behave and what constitutes success. Through films and magazines and billboards we are unconsciously taught what is desirable, what is acceptable, what is “right”.
I’ve worked hard over the last 5 or so years to unpick so much of what I’ve absorbed over the years. I’ve redefined my relationship with my body, letting go of the definition of beauty that society exposes us to, and learning to embrace it for all that it is and all that it does for me. I’ve learnt more about gender dynamics, and how our conditioning can force us to take on certain roles in our relationships. I’ve questioned what we as a society deem “successful” for women versus the conditions for success that we put on men.
I’ve overhauled my thinking in so many ways, peeling back all of those layers of expectations and societal norms. But I’ve realised recently that I’ve still been holding on to one of those limiting beliefs that we’re taught as women, and that’s the idea that youth is the most valuable asset you can have.
It’s an idea that we are constantly bombarded with - just think of all of the 30 under 30 lists, the frequent reminders of our biological clocks, the endless celebration of entrepreneurs who’ve made their first million (or in the case of Kylie Jenner, billion) before they’re even 25. Every article or profile of women includes their ages alongside their achievements, providing us with measuring sticks to beat ourselves with if we’re not keeping up.
And it’s only in the last couple of months that I’ve realised how much I’ve been doing exactly that. I realised that subconsciously, I’ve been subscribing to the idea that as a 30 year old woman, I’m somehow past my prime. That my best days are behind me. That no matter how hard I try, my success will never mean as much because my achievements will no longer feel exceptional in the way they might have done when I was 24 or 25.
But do you know what? That’s bullshit. Time isn’t running out, no matter how much our mainstream media might like to convince us 30-something women that it is. I’m not worth any less because I no longer tick the youngest age box when filling out forms. In fact, the question that has been buzzing around my head for the last couple of weeks is this: what if this is actually the prime of my life? What if everything that came before has just been a foundation for me to build on in this stage of my life? What if this is my time to flourish and shine?
Because honestly? That makes a lot more sense to me. All those years of experience have armed me with the confidence required to take bold, exciting leaps in the direction of my dreams. All those years of working for “the man” have given me the financial security to take more risks and have more fun. All those years of getting to know myself have given me the clarity and self awareness that is enabling me to build a life that feels truly great to me.
When I think about it like that, I feel excited. I feel ready to play big. I feel ready to make shit happen. And that’s why I wanted to share these thoughts here with you today - in case you too are buying into those limiting beliefs we’ve been sold. In case you too are playing small because deep down, you believe that you’re already past your prime.
I wanted to remind you that that absolutely isn’t the case. That no matter what age box you tick, you’re bloody brilliant. That only you get to decide when the prime of your life is going to be. I’m choosing right now. Who’s with me?
